MLB Stock Market

Good news baseball fans! In a week from tomorrow, your favorite team will finally be playing in ... the regular season! I know, this "regular season" I speak of is a strange concept, but if you think back to six months and about 500 beers ago, then you'll recall a time when the Tampa Bay Rays were holding back the surging Red Sox and the Chicago Cubs were in deadly pursuit of their first 100-win season since the last Great Depression.  

Now that Spring is finally ending -- although I've got money on it snowing again here in Toronto even after the first pitch is thrown in April -- I am hopeful that there will soon actually be stuff to talk about! If I'm wrong about there being Stuff to Talk About, then you can expect a multitude of crazy-ass articles like the one I wrote last Thursday. So maybe from the perspective of your bemusement and my loss of credibility, you are rooting for my hopes to be wrong. If that's the case, then I can only shake my fist at you.  

There, I'm done shaking. And now on to the Stock Market portion of this article...

Rising
Kevin Gregg's save opportunities
Personally, I'm opposed to this one for a number of reasons. Unlike many Cub fans, I have few doubts that Gregg can be a good closer. That's not the issue. And like many Cub fans, I believe Carlos Marmol is one of - if not the - best setup man in baseball. The reason I'm opposed to this, though, is because Marmol's arm is going to get wasted by Piniella as the setup man. I don't mean wasted in the sense of "an opportunity wasted," but instead in the sense that Lou Piniella will pitch Marmol until his arm detaches from its shoulder.  

My only point is that if Marmol closes, then Lou will be less likely to pitch him in multiple innings on multiple days in a row. Marmol lost his command and effectiveness last year when Lou was using him the most. If the Cubs want Marmol to stay healthy and happy, then they should have made him the closer.  

The expectations placed on Zack Greinke
Some crazy mo-fo's actually think the Royals might have a chance to be a Dark Horse team in the AL Central. (Don't tell anybody, but I'm one of them.) To pile onto the surprise pressure, there's talk that Royals ace Zack Greinke - who'd be lucky to pitch in the opening series of the season for a team like the Yankees, but I digress - might be a Dark Horse Cy Young candidate. There's no doubting that Greinke is a good pitcher, but as somebody who's only ever thrown more than 200 innings once in his career Cy Young expectations might be just a bit unfair.  

Regardless, with all this talk about them being the stealth favorites, maybe the Royals should just cut to the chase and make George Harrison's Dark Horse album the team theme for the season.

Holding
Probatin' Miguel Tejada
If I see Miguel Tejada play a game this season, I will loudly start a chant in which he is called "Probie" a lot. Or maybe not. It's really not a good insult name. But in his case it actually fits - Tejada avoided stiff consequences for lying to Congress about the use of steroids by recently receiving a year's probation. After the sentence was passed down, Tejada was seen walking from court with a massive blunt in his mouth and two hookers on each arm. When asked to comment, he reportedly said "guess I'm bullet proof," laughed, and shot a homeless guy dead right there on the street.  

Actually he acted very humble. I'm a little surprised that Raffy Palmeiro remains nowhere to be seen. After he was found to have tested postive for 'roids, the Raff said that he did nothing wrong except receive an injection of B12 from Tejada. People scoffed at his excuse, but guess who got caught doing steroids?

Bernie Williams' interest in playing ball
It's been two seasons since Williams last donned a Yankees cap. After New York expressed no interest in keeping him aboard, Williams hung up his jersey for the last time until this Spring, when he played in the WBC for Puerto Rico. Apparently that little taste of baseball was all it took and Williams now wants to return.  

Williams is one of my favorite Yankees. I respect any guy who gets to spend his career with one team. He played 16 seasons in New York, won a ton of rings, hit 22 post season taters, and comes nowhere near being a Hall of Fame candidate. If he can manage to return, I hope for his legacy's sake that it's with the Yankees. He may otherwise come to regret it. Just ask Ron Santo.